I know, I know, I’ve been negligent with blogging as of late as I’ve been so incredibly busy with life, kids, training, volunteering, and starting a new job- even with 24 hours at my disposal every day, I find it hard to accomplish all that I want to! However, “I’m too busy!” is an excuse we all give, maybe more akin to a constant lie we tell ourselves when deciding what, to whom and how we should dedicate our precious time.
Even though I haven’t been writing about running, I have been running. With 3 weeks to go until the Nike Women’s Half Marathon in SF, I’m determined to accomplish my training- fitting it in to the rest of my life right now is certainly a challenge but I am trying and I am doing… and I have been constantly thinking about how my choices truly impact my time- my Lifetime, my Me Time, and my Running Time.
I’ve gone through a great deal in the past few years, emotionally and physically. I’ve overcome several injuries, lost friendships I thought were forever, and faced the death of a beloved family member. Just when I thought I was too old to truly change, this avalanche of painful occurrences fell on me and getting through it all has shaped me in a very different way than ever before. The Laura of today is certainly NOT The Laura of a few years ago- I’ve come to realize that in my lifetime, I want to be the best me I can be and I’ve got 40-50 more years to figure out how to get there.
The days are long but the years are short and in a blink of an eye, 40 years has just zoomed past forcing me to ask myself, “What have you accomplished? What makes you happy? What do you want out of life? What are you going to do to get there?” On my long runs, the answer comes: “Do less.” And, in the moment (usually around mile 7), that just doesn’t make any sense! How can I be more by doing less? How can I find out who I am and what I truly want from my life by regressing???
I’m starting to get it, though, I’m starting to see the benefits of living a simpler life- I don’t need to race every week, I don’t need a gaggle of friends, I don’t need to keep giving away my time for free… I need to be with my family, to spend time with my kids, to focus on the few true friendships I have left, to set one running goal at a time, and to do the work to accomplish that goal- dedicating the rest of my lifetime to those simple and accessible needs is certainly time well spent.
Unfortunately for my readers/followers and all the amazing opportunities the running gods have blessed me with as a result of my work on this blog, I also realize that spending my Me Time constantly on the Internet reading about what other people are doing is keeping me from doing things myself! I love all the social medias and certainly have a passion for writing but the more of my time I spend on the Internet, the more I doubt myself. There will always be someone doing more than me, someone running more, someone writing more, someone with more “likes” but, c’mon now- who truly cares?! As the above quote states, I’ve realized my grass is perfectly green enough right now, right here where I am standing- no need to look further.
Lately- and this is the true reason behind my lack of posts recently- I have been spending my time working on me rather than working on the blog, crafting some perfectly hued Instagram photo, or reading through news feeds. I was spending more time living in a virtual world when I need to start living in my own world. It’s time to unplug in order to regain my sense of self- the Internet can wait, my life cannot.
Spending time on the Internet is still one of my needs, I do love blogging and writing about running and food as well taking photos of every work out and each pretty meal I eat, and I will continue to post- after all of my other needs are met and all of my other priorities have been given attention, then comes the The Internet. Facebook nor Twitter nor Insta nor even email can take the place of direct contact with the people and things that matter most- and THAT is how I am now choosing to divide and conquer my valuable time.
All those miles, all those hours running, all that time spent preparing my gear, choosing just the right shoes, getting back and forth to races, waiting in porta potty lines, shuttle lines, free beer lines… and I wouldn’t change a thing! The time I spend dedicated to running is very much happy time, the only time when I can completely and totally focus on myself. When I run, there are no kids asking for a snack, no husband reminding me to do whatever umpteenth chore, no work to do- I press pause on the world and get my miles in no matter how long it may take, in preparation for me as it is me alone who is responsible for accomplishing the next goal.
Because I spend so much time thinking about life and the pursuit of happiness when I run, I often don’t want to share it. I want to run for me not because I have to take a selfie and post it somewhere. Finding some sort of creative way to capture each and every workout for social media has become fairly tiring! I just want to run and finish and think “Yay me!” and move on with my life- I don’t update my Facebook with status with, “OMG I breathed oxygen today, everyone! WOO HOO!!!” so now I’m running just to run, just for me… and I’m really finding my true love of running again as a result.
The difficulties I have endured in the past few years caught me off guard and okay, sure, its taken me 3 years to get back on track and to change my mind-set towards more positivity and less woe-is-me but I am, as we are all, a work in progress and as long as we take the time to reflect on what matters most when no one else is around, we’ll find the right path.
Life is limitless but our time is limited… and I refuse to waste one more minute! Who’s with me?!?!?!