Race Recap: Divas Half Marathon

Read this only if you like pink… trust me…

So let’s play a little game during this post- grab a bottle of Gatorade and a shot glass and every time you read the word pink, take a shot.  If you play this game with alcohol and then attempt to run right after, you’ll begin to understand how I felt going into this race…

Saturday was Cinco de Mayo or Cinco de Drinko as I like to call it.  My BFF Josh’s birthday is on May 5th so he threw, of course, a party. I registered for the Divas Half Marathon in “San Francisco” months ago (really and truly the race is in Burlingame but I guess that’s just not as pink-diva-sexy!) and didn’t give it a second thought!  Until I got the invite for the party…

On Friday I started to hydrate as well as all day Saturday prior to the party.  I drove out to the Divas expo that morning with 2 water bottles filled with pink nuun knowing the impending alcoholic temptations would make or break my half marathon on Sunday.  I don’t think I need to tell you that no matter how much I hydrated, the latter was still the case.

Well just look at that pretty pink welcome sign!!!

Made it through the expo easily as it was pretty small then went to pick up my bib and race bag, certainly very easy to find as everything was so freaking PINK!

Got back home, drank one more glass of pink nuun, got my race day equipment and attire all prepped and headed off to the party.

Pink shirt, pink skirt, pink shoelaces, pink diva hat, pink sport beans, pink shot blocks, pink Gu brew and I’m ready to roll! Or so I thought…

Josh’s party was awesome and I started right in on the chips and guacamole and margaritas.  Followed that up with a crawfish feast and about 10 glasses of a cocktail called hop-skip-and-go-naked (which I am renaming hop-skip-and-ruin-my-life).  Then, polished off a bottle of champagne before leaving the party around 7pm. Josh was offering to pay for my bib so that I could stay and party but I’m never one to skip out on a race no matter how hungover, sick, or injured I may be.  Plus, with the allure of a pink sparkly medal, nothing could hold me back!

Drank tons of water, went to bed at 10:30pm, but then woke up at 1:30am and could not fall back to sleep for the life of me.  I just layed there wide awake and feeling very drunk until my alarm went off at 4:30am.  My TNT buddy Sammie showed up at 4:45am with- THANK GOODNESS- hot coffee.  Coach Kim arrived at 5am and off we drove to Burlingame…

Parked and waited out the cold in the car but then moved on in to the nearby hotel to visit the rest room and await the race start.

Sammie, Yours Truly, and Kim- all pinked up and ready to go! Well, *they* were! (photo credit: Sammie)

We walked to the race start, near a very big field, and I was stunned at the sea of pink that surrounded us- it was EVERYWHERE!  I don’t mind pink, I kinda like it, but wow, wow, wow:

Field o’ Pink Dreams

We headed to the start and Sammie and Kim decided to warm up by running, “Laura, wanna warm up?”  ”Hahahahahahahaha, you guys are too funny- I’ll see you at the finish!”  They happily jogged off while I walked to my corral, grabbed some water and waited for the start.  Finally, we were off…

Very sunny day and at race start, it was closing in on 70 degrees! SO HOT!!!

And I didn’t want to run.  Not in the slightest.  I immediately felt nauseous.  Told myself to just make it to the water stop and everything would be fine.  Luckily for me, this race had a water stop every mile it seemed so as soon as I became desperate for relief, a water stop would appear!  Truly a blessing in pink!

Stopped at the first water stop, drank some water, doubled over and puked.  I looked up and was surrounded by a sea of pink tutus and sparkling skirts, my fellow Diva runners asking me if I was okay and if I needed any help (the volunteers seemed completely shocked- who pukes at mile 1.25???  oh that would be me).  I assured them I was okay, I was gonna get that sparkly pink medal no matter what, and on I trudged.

I don’t recall what mile this is but I can tell you, at that moment, it was NOT far enough!

I would run for a mile, then feel sick, then I would walk.  On and on this happened.  I kept looking at my watch thinking, “Only mile 5????  NOOOOOOO!!!!”  I wanted to be done.  I wanted it over with.  I did NOT want to run.

Finally we hit the turnaround and the view greatly improved even though the smells got worse… as soon as I smelled that stinky bay water, I puked a second time.  Ugh… only mile 6…

My puke forever tattooed on the 4th rock on the right.

I attempted some self-portraits-while-running and they turned out horrible but do completely sum up how I was feeling at that moment:

JUST PUT ME OUT OF MY PINK FRICKING MISERY!!!!

Got to mile 9 and I so wanted to complain to someone so I turned on my video camera to talk to myself:

Finished that mile and I was still pretty pissed so took one more video:

When I finished that video, a woman next to me said, “Oh that’s cute!” And I said, “Well, I had to take the video so I can complain on my blog.  Normally, I like running but not today!” And she said, “Well I missed the turn around for the 5K- how far have I gone?”  And I said, “10 miles, girl!  You have a 5K left to go!”  We chatted for a bit, she was miserable, I felt so bad for her but even worse for myself so I just dug down, way down with my imaginary cup, scooped out some motivation, drank it up and somehow found the strength to run on.

Right at mile 13 they hand you a tiara and a pink boa to cross the finish line with, I took them and ran as fast as I could to the finish- so tired, so done, so over it.  Crossed in 2:25 and this was the fist thing I saw:

This guy was not in the brochure, but I think he sure needs to be!

Got my medal from that studly specimen after asking him why he wasn’t wearing any pink, walked through the chute, chatted with a couple people along the way, got my glass of champagne, then found Sammie and Kim and I rejoiced at how glad I was that that sucker was FINALLY OVER!

HOORAY!!!!! (photo credit: Sammie)

Kim finished in 1:41 (!!!) placing 2nd in her age group- WOO HOO- so we went over to grab her prize.

2nd place in her age group! YEAH KIM!!!!!

The medals we received were as big as dinner plates, I kid you not, and Kim got a second one of these which she proudly wore, click clanking all down the street- you could hear her coming for miles!

Well, at least ONE of them WASN’T pink! (photo credit: Coach Kim)

Really a great race over all, I just wish I could have been more in the spirit and not as hungover!  The course was flat, flat, flat and would be a good one to PR on but with the heat and sun of the day, I heard it was tough (even for a speed demon like Kim) to overcome- not one shady break in this race at all!

Support along the course was ample, tons of water stops and porta potties along the way but no spectators cheering, no bands, no treats handed out along the way which kind of surprised me.  I love an all-women’s race and the camaraderie among all the women, as well as the sea of pink outfits and wigs and tiaras and boas and rhinestones, it was really fun to people watch!

In other words, YES I am doing this one again next year and NO I will not go to your party, Josh, if it happens to fall the day prior.   Lesson learned.  I’ll see you next year, Divas!

Oh and PINK PINK PINK PINK!!!!!

14 thoughts on “Race Recap: Divas Half Marathon

  1. Jen

    OMG, I can’t believe you had TEN of those cocktails, plus champagne!!! I only had 2 cocktails and had to take a break before helping myself to a binger (bourbon + ginger ale). I also can’t believe you then ran a half marathon the next morning. This hot weather’s been brutal too. You’re a beast!!

    Reply
    1. Laura

      Not to mention the margaritas to start since we got to their place 2 hours early! Yeah. Wow. I’ve done 5Ks and 10Ks hungover but a half?!?!? UGH.

      I heard about the Bingers as well as the vodka smoothies at the end of the night… now who’s the beast? ;)

      Reply
      1. Jen

        Vodka smoothies?!?! We must have left by then. Too bad.
        I’m quite the lightweight nowadays — too afraid of hangovers and being dehydrated for runs…the effects of which your post and videos brilliantly demonstrate. :)

        Reply
  2. jen

    Found your post on the Diva facebook page. I ran it with some friends also. I was fighting an injury, so I had a similar experience to yours – I just couldn’t enjoy it to the full potential. I agree it was a well run race and I’d do it again. Also….we suspected the sea of pink and went with black just to be anti-pink!

    Reply
    1. Laura

      Thanks for stopping by! :) That sucks you were injured but sounds like you also had great girlfriends to help you through. And yes, I agree, it was really well organized and just a really good course- would not be surprised if it sells out again next year!

      Reply
  3. Suzanne

    This sounds like a really fun race. I really want to do a Divas Half Marathon! I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels like they are going to puke while everyone else is commenting on how beautiful the ocean is!

    Reply
  4. Josh the Evil Neighbor

    Oofdah Laura! I guess I’m a LITTLE sorry but I’m more happy that you had a great party =) We’ll coordinate better for next year!

    Reply
    1. Laura

      It’s okay, it’s okay, it was totally my fault and your party was just so much fun I couldn’t help myself! I can do a half anytime but can only celebrate Josh The Best Neighbor Ever *once* a year! ;)

      Reply
  5. pacifiersandfruitloops

    so glad you made it to the finish, i can’t even imagine trying to make it through a race feeling like that!! i signed up for the diva half in new york this october…i’ll remember this post when i’m out for dinner the night before ;)

    Reply
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